


Learning Experience

by echoflowertea



Series: Living [7]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Reader Is Not Frisk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowertea/pseuds/echoflowertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You catch up with Toriel after a burning question finally forces your hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning Experience

**Author's Note:**

> hey dudes. this is a pretty short chapter, but it's chock full of important stuff.
> 
> if it makes you feel any better, **i update tuesdays and fridays!**

You weren’t sure who to turn to.

Your first instinct was Alphys. But you didn’t want her to get ahead of herself. She would inevitably tell Undyne, who would make it into a challenge and give you input you never asked for.

You wanted Toriel to be your first line of defense. She was considered more motherly by the other monsters, as she had this authoritative aura to her that helped her keep situations in control. She was great with kids, loved to bake, patient, warm, kind. Yeah, sure, you could see it.

You didn’t feel that way, though. The Toriel that put on the royal crest wasn’t the Toriel that you spent nearly every waking moment with Underground. You bonded because you had similar goals and thought processes. You saw the world and set to make it livable for everyone. She might’ve been older than you and much wiser, but she was still a person. She wasn’t infallible. She wasn’t a god. She had flaws and made mistakes. She could be crude and downright harsh sometimes.

You hadn’t seen much of her because of all the changes you went through. Underground, you shared a wing of the castle. You ate breakfast every morning and gossiped when the day was over. You two planned the lives of the kids that fell down into a world filled with monsters and magic.

Nowadays, she graded paperwork and you busted your ass just trying to make ends meet.

You still had days where you spent time together. They were just few and far between. She had the weekends off, you usually worked. You stayed up late, she got up early. Just little things like that. You texted all the time and shared stories about what went on. You called each other every week to catch up. But it wasn’t the same as standing outside her door and waiting to be invited in so you could be with her in person.

You scrolled through your contacts list. You wanted to see if she was available. Just ten minutes. But another nagging feeling swam through you and you found yourself closing the message app about ten thousand times.

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

**BFF :-D:** Hey tori, are you busy rn???

**Tori:** Hello! I am on lunch. Would you like to stop by?

**BFF :-D:** Yeah, if that’s cool w/ you

**Tori:** Of course it is! I will be waiting for you at the front desk! :-)

Her school became a refuge of sorts. Monster kids had a safe place to be during the day, absorbing all sorts of knowledge relating to life on the surface and their rich history underground. Toriel hired extremely open-minded and passionate individuals to help her. It grew from a tiny one-roomed schoolhouse into a massive building with students crammed in its halls. Humans were allowed to attend, too, but Toriel only accepted those that were from low-income families, parentless or struggled through life without much to turn to.

She was a fucking saint. What did she even see in you?

You stepped up to the front doors and greeted the janitor who was mopping up some of his own ooze. He lifted an arm to wave at you and continued to go on his way.

Toriel was chatting with another staff member when you walked in. She looked gorgeous as always. Delicate yet formidable in her appearance. You wished you had half of her confidence.

You greeted her once their conversation broke. You watched her ears perk and she turned toward you, a toothy smile already on her face.

“Oh! I am so glad you decided to visit!” She approached you and extended a paw. You went for a hug instead, ignoring the dull pangs of alarms going off in your head. She returned it warmly, her fur tickling your nostrils. “It has been much too long. Please, let us go into my office so we may have some privacy.”

Children scattered in the halls and screamed with joy as you went past. Apparently it was recess for them. The monitor chased after them and apologized as they cut through the two of you, Toriel laughing at the scene.

She really loved kids. Like, a lot. You would never feel what she did, but you were glad you had a friend to ground you once in a while.

She held the door open for you and you took a seat in the armchair across from her desk. The kettle of tea was already boiling, so she poured you each a cup. You inhaled it. Mm. She always knew just what flavors to pick. Today was strawberry.

“So! Tell me all about what has been going on with you. Are you still working at the same place?”

“Sure am. I think I’ve got some pretty decent hours, enough for me to pay off bills. Nothing too big has happened. I’m more interested in you. Look at this place! I love the new paint job.”

“Oh, thank you!” She giggled. “I thought it needed something more fun. Underground, things were very…stagnant. But I like to change things up every year so the children have something to look forward to.” She took a long drink and paused, thoughtful. “Locques has been doing very well in his classes. He says you promised to take him out to dinner if he improved his test scores in math.”

“He pretty much strong-armed me into that one,” you admitted. “He’s been wanting to go this themed restaurant for months now. But I knew that he was struggling, so…”

Her eyes twinkled. “You are good to him. Of all the people that fell Underground, we were lucky enough to have you.”

You cleared your throat, embarrassed at her compliments. “So, um…any news on you? Your personal life? Nothing big I should worry about?”

“I do not think so. I have been very busy with the school. But I am happy here. I could not have asked for a better life. Despite everything that happened, we are thriving. I owe it to you.”

Gosh, she just wasn’t going to let up, was she?

Whew, this was harder than you thought. Come on. Don’t back out now. “I…um…Toriel, I had some questions I wanted to ask you. About monsters.”

She set her cup down on her plate and gazed at you worriedly. “Has something happened?”

“No! Nothing like that.” You now wanted someone to interrupt and save you from this hell. Maybe a little brat that pulled a fire alarm or caused a scene on the playground that needed Goat Mom intervention. “I, um…this is super embarrassing. But I wanted to know about…monsters and relationships.”

Toriel blinked and her expression shifted. When you dared a glance at her, laughter threatened to break across her face. She was giddy. Oh, no. She was assuming! Abort, abort!

“Undyne and Alphys have been together for a while now and I was wondering how they made it work,” you blurted. The weight on your chest lifted. You could feel the adrenaline course through your veins, the lie a bitter taste on your tongue.

“Ah. I see.” Her excitement faded, but there was still a sly tilt to her tone. “They are adorable, are they not? What questions do you have?”

You swallowed thickly. “Okay, so like, I know that monsters are all different from each other. But in their case, is it normal for different types to fall for each other? I mean, I’ve been thinking about Snowdrake’s parents, for example. And, um…you and…Asgore.” You knew it was a touchy subject for her, but you were close enough to where she could confide in you about all that happened between them. “So like, is it taboo? Is it considered…weird?”

The phone on her desk rang and she picked it up without thinking. You sat there, sweating bullets, as she chatted with the person on the other line. You had no idea what was going on, seeing as how you could feel your sins crawling on your back.

When she set it back down, she perked up. “I am sorry. Your question. Well, when monsters were first trapped Underground, we made it a point to be close with our own kind. Monsters like us. Because we were afraid and needed familiarity. Before then, we were spread out and lived in our own communities. Not because we disliked each other, but because we were rooted in tradition and…when the war began, we wanted to be with our families. We needed a reminder of what we were fighting for.”

You’d never heard this side of the story before. It made you sick knowing what humans did to them all those hundreds of years ago.

“Things were harder back then. We needed warriors for battle. We needed all able bodies to stand up for ourselves. Asgore…he recruited the ones that were geared toward offense. Then so many fell and we had to resort to those not suited for battle. We could not keep going, so many were turned to dust…so many killed. Our population was dwindling. We could not keep raising our children to be slaughtered, and they did not age as quickly as the humans could. Humans were ruthless and cunning.”

You fumbled with your hands in your lap. You could see where this was going.

“The day we were driven Underground, Asgore and I swore that we would protect the rest of our kind, no matter what. That we would do what was right to keep them safe. Monsters were still mourning their lost loved ones. They were not necessarily resentful of each other, but could not bear to leave their own families. So they clung to what they had left.

“Over time, families were restored. We were forced to mingle with each other. Not that we had any strife or struggles with it; but it was new, different. We adapted quickly, though. Monsters have long lives and we did not know how long we would be trapped, so we remained optimistic about our future. We would just coexist until we had a chance to make our way back to the surface.”

She sucked in a deep breath and released it. “But generations grew close and flourished. Monsters found homes in what they could. We survived the harsh conditions Underground and thrived. Until you came across the system we developed. Like-bodied and like-minded monsters finding a place of their own and building friendships with so many others.”

She went to quench her parched throat and you couldn’t help but interject.

“But even so, are monster couples expected to maintain tradition? To couple with others of their own kind?”

She laughed. “I suppose I should make it clear. No, they are not. Before, we bonded with monsters of our own because we were all so different and the world was big enough that we could go decades without coming across others of our kind. The war forced us to be together, and the aftermath of our entrapment made it so that we could take a long look at how we acted before. Friendships blossomed, and soon, so did relationships.”

“So then why are all the couples with children of the same kind? Can monsters of a different kind not reproduce?”

“They can. You only saw a portion of the Underground while you were there. The city was quite a populous place, and there were more hidden pockets of monsters deep in the mountain. If you had seen the child of two separate monsters, you would not have known it unless you met their parents.”

That was…a really good point. But this was getting off track. You didn’t want her to think you were prying into Undyne and Alphys’ future as a family, that was way too personal.

“That answers my question. I just wanted to make sure that their love was going to be…accepted by other monsters.”

“Love is a sacred thing to monsters. It is a very important part of us. We are all inclined to feel it and express it, in our own ways.” She gazed at you fondly. “We would never see it as a negative thing. No matter the type of love, any is enough for us to be happy.”

That was reassuring. And…it definitely helped you tuck away some information if you were ever to voice your feelings and be rejected. For Sans and Papyrus, they would’ve just been content to have you as a close friend. If they didn’t want anything more, then that was your problem and not theirs. They could be content with that and you had to accept it.

“Is romance…different for monsters? I mean, like, humans are obsessed with it. You can’t go five seconds without someone in the media mentioning feelings and attraction to someone else. We’re in love with the idea of romantic and sexual love, if that makes sense. Monsters don’t seem too concerned with that, so does it not happen often?”

“No. It is just much more serious and not as fleeting.” She tapped a paw on her chin, trying to find some way to word this. “Monsters put their SOUL into everything. When they bond long enough with a close friend, and feelings arise, it is not with the intention of something fleeting. It is because there is a level of trust and understanding that is…different from friendship. I know humans often view romantic love as something that holds more weight to that of platonic love. While romance is powerful, it is its own category. It stands on its own. It is just as serious as the other types, but it shows a level of commitment that would be considered uncommon to your species.”

You soaked up her words and stole a glance at the clock. Five more minutes and she would have to be back on duty. You didn’t want this to end. Her presence and voice were so soothing and reassuring. She was so patient with you despite your somewhat intrusive questions.

“Humans can end relationships and their feelings fade. Monsters are not the same way. Our friendships last for as long as we live. And our romantic love is just the same.”

You frowned. “But, you and Asgore…”

She sighed long and hard, leaning toward you. If it were anyone else, she would’ve regarded them icily. But she knew that you would never ask this to get on her nerves or dredge up the past.

“Asgore and I were in love. Quite a long time ago. But we have lived much longer than nearly every monster on the surface today. Our marriage lasted through a war. Through the death of our children. My feelings for him never wavered until the day I realized he wanted to punish all of humanity and slaughter helpless children. When he accepted that as his only solution, that was no longer the man I’d come to love. 

“I changed that day and so did he. I became a recluse to escape the shame I felt. To hide and hope that I could stop his plans in my own way. But I was too much of a coward to fight him and end it myself. I live with that choice every day. My feelings – and our history – remained in the way for me to take him out of this world and save the lives of innocents.”

You wanted to argue, but she lifted a paw to silence you.

“My SOUL broke when we did. When we went our separate ways, I lost a part of myself. I refused to let it destroy me. We both survived despite all of our pain and suffering. I found my happiness in the humans that continued to fall, and he eradicated them without blinking an eye. I felt nothing but contempt for him, hatred that he would sever my attempts to build a new life and kill my children.”

You gulped. She was heated over this. Her magic crackled, her emotions responding to the situation at hand. You had to get her to cool down, so you reached forward and rested your hand on hers. She gazed at you in surprise, but a warm smile spread across her face in due time. She squeezed you affectionately.

“Our divorce was a ripple that continued to follow me over the centuries. It took so long for me to accept that this was how things were. And I learned to live – to move on – without having him at my side. It was painful, yes, but I would never let that overshadow what I felt for all my children. That was much more important.

“What I am saying is…monsters are so in tune with their emotions that it is our downfall. It can destroy us. It can kill us just as easily as a physical wound from a human. So when monsters choose someone – when they decide that this is who they want – that is a promise. That is an agreement between all parties that they will give all of themselves without question.”

That had much more of a finality to it than you expected. “So Alphys and Undyne are in this for the long run?”

“They are still young. They have a chance to test their bonds and decide. But most monsters know within a few months whether they want to be together. Friendship often paves the way for that.”

“Hmm.” This was a lot to think about. You drained the rest of your cup and ignored that it was lukewarm by now. “What about you, Toriel? Have you ever thought of being with someone else? Of trying again?”

“Absolutely not.” She laughed. “I…have always been defined by my relationships. My marriage to Asgore. My heritage to the throne. My role as keeper of the Ruins. Now I am free. I have no shackles. My duties are my own. I do not want to be bonded again. I want to create a life for myself and my children. Their love and growth is so meaningful and fulfills me in ways I have never dreamed of.”

That was a surprising way to look at it. Being in a relationship was so commonplace in humanity that it was considered abnormal for people not to be with another person.

“But you’re not lonely?”

“Of _course_ not. I have so many people who love and care for me! My friends. My school. My children. You.” She looked down and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “I have never been this content. I cannot linger on the past. There is too much to look forward to in the future.”

The bell rang in the hallway and you wished that you had more time to talk together. You’d missed this. And she taught you so much. But Toriel knew that she couldn’t delay the inevitable, so she rose from her chair and walked over to embrace you. You accepted it without flinching. She shared a lot. She told you everything you needed to hear. And she gave you a much better understanding of the people you loved, too.

When you broke away, she couldn’t contain her mischievous grin. “And you? Have you thought of being with someone?”

“What? I-I don’t know. Sometimes. But I mean, not like that. It’s hard for me to trust, too, so I don’t think I would ever be good enough for someone who would want to go at such a fast pace.” You babbled on, trying to cover your embarrassment with half-assed excuses.

She chuckled and led you out of the room. “Oh, I would not put it past you. While monsters are…passionate about things, they would never rush. They go at their own pace and are always willing to compromise. Consent is everything to us, otherwise our bonds would not work.”

“H-haha, yeah. I get it. So, um…how about I come visit you tomorrow? Same time?”

“Yes! I would love to see you! I will bake something special. Oh, I am very excited! You must tell me all about who you have a crush on!”

“TORIEL. I-I’m not crushing on anybody! Goodbye!” 

You stomped down the hallway and ignored her musical laughter following after you.

She was too damn smart for her own good.

**Author's Note:**

> so here's the thing: for a while i considered pairing toriel up with someone. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that a lot of people seem to think of her as "incomplete" unless she has a love interest. which is...honestly scary.
> 
> toriel is lonely when you meet her, but that stems from her isolation, not because she wants/needs to be wooed. a big part of the game is that friendship and platonic love can mean just as much as romance. and i know people think she deflects because she genuinely considers herself too old to start over, but i feel like she uses that as an excuse so people will stop pestering her about it? or because it makes her uncomfortable? it's like people going "such a shame you're single! you have so much to offer!" as if your entire worth is based on whether you're in a relationship.
> 
> so toriel in this series is fucking happy being a divorced schoolteacher. she has a life outside of a significant other and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.


End file.
